I'm glad you asked! I have so much to tell you.
PART I
First, let me address my whiny Facebook posts from Thursday. I have a personal rule. I give myself a day to wallow in a little self pity. It happened when I was diagnosed, again when my hair fell out and again on Thursday. So what was up on Thursday? Well, I had my first visit with my plastic surgeon on Thursday afternoon. At this point, I'm sure you're wondering what in the world could have happened at my reconstruction consultation. I mean, we're talking reconstruction, not removal. Surely removal had to be bad and that would mean that reconstruction is good. First of all, I didn't have any hesitation with the removal. Really. I promise. It was all about getting the cancer out of my body and I was all for that! I was even OK with the fact that I would need to delay reconstruction until 1 year post radiation. So, again, I'm sure you're wondering what the big deal was. The big deal was that I didn't have a good understanding of what reconstruction would consist of until Thursday. You might recall that I made a comment back in August, after I met with my general surgeon, that I learned that the surgery would be a little more invasive than I expected. Well, it's going to be way more invasive than I expected. If you are at all familiar with a "standard" reconstruction, you know that they insert expanders to make room for the implant, they fill them over several weeks or months and then they replace the expander with the permanent implant. The implant portion of the process, even for me, will be an outpatient procedure with small incisions and a 2 week recovery time. Not bad as surgeries go. The issue for me will be the surgery required to "fix" me enough to allow them to expand that expanders without my chest tearing open. Sadly, I'm being serious. There is no exaggeration there at all. The surgery will be longer, more involved, more invasive and have a longer recovery time than my mastectomy did. That's where the emotion came from. I had a moment of hesitation about whether I wanted to go forward or not and I got mad. I got mad because I felt like my two choices both sucked. Option 1 was to do nothing and remain deformed for the rest of my life. I was ok with it for a couple of years but I fully expected to get corrected at some point. Option 2 is going to be a long surgery with a lot of not-so-exciting elements. I had my day (well evening) of thinking it sucked, it wasn't fair, when is enough, enough? I allowed myself that evening but I have since moved on. I'm alive and I'm blessed to have that choice. 2014 was a year of surgery and treatment, 2015 has allowed a bit of a break and 2016 will be the year of reconstruction...and yes, it will take the whole year. Now that we've covered the emotional part, let's talk about my surgical options. Settle in, it's going to take a while.
PART I
First, let me address my whiny Facebook posts from Thursday. I have a personal rule. I give myself a day to wallow in a little self pity. It happened when I was diagnosed, again when my hair fell out and again on Thursday. So what was up on Thursday? Well, I had my first visit with my plastic surgeon on Thursday afternoon. At this point, I'm sure you're wondering what in the world could have happened at my reconstruction consultation. I mean, we're talking reconstruction, not removal. Surely removal had to be bad and that would mean that reconstruction is good. First of all, I didn't have any hesitation with the removal. Really. I promise. It was all about getting the cancer out of my body and I was all for that! I was even OK with the fact that I would need to delay reconstruction until 1 year post radiation. So, again, I'm sure you're wondering what the big deal was. The big deal was that I didn't have a good understanding of what reconstruction would consist of until Thursday. You might recall that I made a comment back in August, after I met with my general surgeon, that I learned that the surgery would be a little more invasive than I expected. Well, it's going to be way more invasive than I expected. If you are at all familiar with a "standard" reconstruction, you know that they insert expanders to make room for the implant, they fill them over several weeks or months and then they replace the expander with the permanent implant. The implant portion of the process, even for me, will be an outpatient procedure with small incisions and a 2 week recovery time. Not bad as surgeries go. The issue for me will be the surgery required to "fix" me enough to allow them to expand that expanders without my chest tearing open. Sadly, I'm being serious. There is no exaggeration there at all. The surgery will be longer, more involved, more invasive and have a longer recovery time than my mastectomy did. That's where the emotion came from. I had a moment of hesitation about whether I wanted to go forward or not and I got mad. I got mad because I felt like my two choices both sucked. Option 1 was to do nothing and remain deformed for the rest of my life. I was ok with it for a couple of years but I fully expected to get corrected at some point. Option 2 is going to be a long surgery with a lot of not-so-exciting elements. I had my day (well evening) of thinking it sucked, it wasn't fair, when is enough, enough? I allowed myself that evening but I have since moved on. I'm alive and I'm blessed to have that choice. 2014 was a year of surgery and treatment, 2015 has allowed a bit of a break and 2016 will be the year of reconstruction...and yes, it will take the whole year. Now that we've covered the emotional part, let's talk about my surgical options. Settle in, it's going to take a while.